W4: America -- Home of the Brave ... and the Buffets

I don't think I eat like a typical American. I've never liked hamburgers, eat pizza only rarely and have all but sworn off fries (except Arby's curly fries - hello, guilty pleasure). I'll admit that when I think "What would go in an 'American' restaurant?" that star-spangled plates of quarter-pounders with cheese and a heap or two of fries with globs of ketchup do come to mind, but I think that there are a few other food cultures and/or groupings that could ring a (Liberty) bell.

emantepr.com

1. The "They're FAIR-ly Awesome" Appetizers
My hometown is this small little blink-and-you'll-miss-it place surrounded by cornfields and highways, so I've been to my fair share of county fairs and festivals. I wouldn't call myself a big advocate of the 4-H circuit or anything, but fairs are something that families can do together. And even though the divorce rate is high and sometimes people stab and murder each other, America's pretty big on "family." So, to start off the menu, I'd have some appetizers like cotton candy, funnel cakes, red and white striped bags of popcorn ... maybe even a seasonal pawpaw chips and salsa. To keep with the family theme, all the portions would likely come in rations to feed four or five people.

sodahead.com

 2.The "Semi-Homestyle Cookin' Substitute" Main Courses

I'd say it's safe to assume that most people know a Kentucky Fried Chicken logo when they see one. Alongside McDonalds, Subway and Starbucks, KFC is toward the top of the essential-to-the-American-diet list. It'd be cheating to just incorporate KFC's entire menu into my restaurant's offerings, so instead of trying to buy the company or something, my menu would include KFC knock-offs, which in turn are sort of knock-offs of true Southern cooking, anyway. The list includes but is not limited to: fried chicken, mashed potatoes with or without gravy, biscuits, coleslaw and - of course- extra creamy, cheesey macaroni and cheese. These would all be served buffet style, because Americans love buffets.

noshtopia.com

 

3. The "Vegan before it was Cool to be Vegan" Side Dishes
After living in Athens for three years, it has become impossible for me to ignore the hipster culture. The starving-artist slash plaid enthusiast is impossible to ignore in America's most indie cities, so I figured they deserved some menu options, too. (Unless, of course, they're too cool for menus.) These vegan dishes would include vegan sandwiches, vegan salads, vegan tofu/meat substitutes, etc., all served in healthy, portion-correct servings on compost-friendly plates.

graeters.com

 4. "Just Desserts" Sweets 'n Stuff
I try to eat healthy, really, but I have a nearly insatiable sweet tooth. I love, love, love chocolate (especially dark or in M&M form), but, most of the time, just about any delicious dessert would do. Desserts and sweets are a big part of America's food culture - just look at how prevalent they are. We use them to celebrate big occasions (birthdays, graduations, weddings), they help determine our moods (have you ever NOT felt better after indulging in some ice cream or a Dove bar?) and keep the kids happy. So, my dessert section would cover all of the basics, in portions that are much too large but still seemingly not enough goodness -- chocolate chip cookies, cookie cakes (my personal favorite), and all kinds of ice cream, from Graeter's (I am a Cincy girl, after all) to Ben and Jerry's.

I'm sure there are all kinds of foods I'm leaving out (off the top of my head, I'm considering adding a section of (hamburger-less) grilled foods -- chicken, steak, hotdogs vegetables -- because the "backyard barbeque" seems like another American food culture trope), but that's why you should stay true to the varied American diet and eat at all kinds of different places.

Unless you're like my youngest sister, who will choose to go to Steak 'n Shake for her birthday dinner every year, without fail. Must be the hats. ---